Ranking The Eternals
Marvel’s Phase Four is in full swing, and the big November release, Eternals, has hit screens. Eternals introduces ten new additions to the MCU, as well as the Dark Knight and Harry Styles’ Star Fox. Here’s our ranking of all ten Eternals. Spoilers ahead.
By the way, this is on a scale from least wonderful to most wonderful; they’re all pretty great.
10. Ikaris (Richard Madden)
It feels wrong to rank any of them last, especially Ikaris, but he gets the last spot for a few reasons. First, he is the villain, murdering Ajak and attempting to destroy Earth. Second, I didn’t form as strong of an emotional connection to him as I did to other characters. While I’ve loved Richard Madden since Game of Thrones, his character in Eternals didn’t grab my heart as well as some of the others.
That being said, he is still an interesting character. A fascinating thing about Ikaris is the direct parallel between him and Superman. Their powers are almost the same, both being able to fly and shoot lasers from their eyes. Ikaris often carries himself like Superman, at one point being directly compared to the Man of Steel. But Ikaris is led astray by blind devotion to his god, choosing Arishem over his family and Earth. He’s so devoted that when he fails, he flies into the sun. A moment that’s pretty dark for Marvel, and a reference to both the Ikaris Greek myth and Superman again, who gains power from the sun. It’s even a small criticism of Superman, about what can happen when a superpowered being is too devoted to a cause or set of values.
9. Sprite (Lea McHugh)
Sprite gets a low ranking for a lot of the same reasons as Ikaris. She sides with him at the end, and her reasoning for doing so wasn’t set up quite as well as some other story beats. But just like Ikaris, she is still a fascinating character.
Sprite get’s the short end of the stick among the Eternals, because even though she’s just as old as the rest of them, she’s stuck in the body of a child. For this reason, she feels on the outside of humanity. She can’t relate to them like the other Eternals, because she can’t experience anything an adult can. Sprite is also in love with Ikaris but is barred from expressing that because of the body she’s stuck in. Due to this problem, she finds herself consumed with jealousy of Sersi, who is in a relationship with Ikaris. This leads Sprite to betray Sersi and the rest of the Eternals as she sides with Ikaris.
But her decision to side with him in support of Arishem doesn’t really make sense. Logically, she should be mad at Arishem for trapping her in the body of a child and would be on Sersi’s side. She comes across as bratty and self-serving. But that’s not to the fault of McHugh, the writing of Sprite just fell a little short in portraying the jealousy and pain of being in Sprite’s situation. She outranks Ikaris because of McHugh’s performance. Her story is genuinely more compelling and I did care for her. Her decision to become human at the end of the story was an emotional beat that hit me better than Ikaris’ death.
8. Ajak (Salma Hayek)
Hayek played the matriarch of the Eternal’s masterfully. The only reason she was ranked lower was that we didn’t get to spend as much time with her as some of the others. That being said I felt for her and with her the entire film. Her death had an emotional weight to it, and her scenes were tender and sweet. She is the most motherly figure in the entire MCU. But while she is motherly, she is still powerful. At no point can you deny that Ajak deserves to be the leader of the Eternals. She is an excellent example that a female superhero can be both wholly a woman and a hero.
7. Thena (Angelina Jolie)
Thena was difficult to rank. Jolie’s performance was stunning. She even went so far as to take ballet for the role, which definitely comes out in the way Thena carries herself. Her fighting style is graceful and unique. Furthermore, Thena is definitely the coolest Eternal. From her demeanour to character design, to powers, and of course, that she’s played by Angelina Jolie.
I ranked Thena in the second half only because she feels so disconnected from the other Eternals. She doesn’t seem to have the relationship with the others that they have with each other. Granted, she is afflicted with Mahd Wy’ry. Meaning that she is remembering her missions on past worlds and is slightly going insane because of it. She will sometimes attack her fellow Eternals. Even so, she just didn’t feel like she was on the same team as everyone else.
6. Gilgamesh (Don Lee)
Gilgamesh and Thena are the power couple of the Eternals. From a geeky history side, I loved how they both had ties to ancient mythology as Babylon’s Gilgamesh myth and the goddess Athena. Anyway, what made me love Gilgamesh was how much he loved Thena. He didn’t love her because he was seeking something from her, he just loved her with his whole self. He accepted every part of her, the good and the bad, and was willing to die for her. They represented a relationship that was so earnest and true. The kind of relationship that most people yearn for. It’s the type of romantic relationship that isn’t portrayed on screen often, especially not in superhero films. But it’s one that is probably the most cherished. The love they had for each other was heartwarming to see on film.
5. Makkari (Lauren Ridloff)
Makkari stole the show. Ridloff just exudes charm; wonderful to watch on screen. She also is an excellent representation, being the first deaf superhero in the MCU. And the cherry on top of Makkari is that she is the best speedster we have ever seen on screen. The way that her powers are portrayed in Eternals makes The Flash in the DC’s Justice League look like he’s jogging. It even blows the MCU’s Quicksilver from Age of Ultron out of the water.
I have nothing negative to say about Makkari. My only complaint with her is that I wish she was in more of the film. Every scene she’s in is a delight to watch.
4. Phastos (Brian Tyree Henry)
Phastos has one of the more interesting arcs in Eternals. An incredibly intelligent engineer/inventor, when we meet Phastos he is filled with enthusiasm. He’s excited to show humanity what he has learned and to help them advance. Later, we see that enthusiasm has turned to grief. In a scene between Phastos and Ajak, we watch Phastos grapple with the reality of the Atomic Bomb after Hiroshima. He blames himself, and he comes to the conclusion that humanity isn’t worth saving, protecting or helping. When we come back to him, however, we learn that Phastos has started a family. He’s now married with a son (in a piece of actual gay representation), and feels differently about humanity. His husband and son are helping him learn that humanity is both good and evil. Phastos stands up to Icaris to save his family, but he also is learning to believe in humanity again.
3. Kingo (Kumail Nanjiani)
Kingo breaks the top rank by virtue of his charm. He’s definitely the funniest Eternal and is the most fun to watch. It’s hilarious that with the gift of immortality, he decided to be a Bollywood star (and doesn’t he do it well?). His attitude towards the main dilemma, whether to let a new Celestial be born at the cost of Earth, is interesting as well. He’s torn morally between saving the billions on Earth or letting them die so that trillions more could be born. Kingo is also loyal to Icaris, viewing him as their leader. When Icaris turns away from the other Eternals, Kingo decides to leave the following battle. He won’t stand against Icaris, but he also doesn’t want to harm his family. His absence from the third act is disappointing, but he was the most fun Eternal to watch on screen.
2. Druig (Barry Keoghan)
The character Druig grew on me the most throughout the film, and his personal moral stance on their mission on Earth is the most interesting. Druig has the ability to control the minds of humans, and he is often torn on how to use that ability. Their mission (as stated to them) explicitly says that they are not to interfere in human conflicts, only to protect them from the Deviants. But after thousands of years of watching humans do unspeakable things to each other, Druig breaks. While witnessing the colonization and conquest of South America, he feels that he must interfere. This breaks the Eternals up, as it leads Ajak to give them permission to leave if they see fit. Druig takes everyone involved in the conflict and has them live in a commune, deep in the Amazon, for generations.
While Druig’s actions were rooted in a real desire to help humanity, he was a little misguided. Keeping generations of people away from the rest of the world using mind control is… morally questionable. But that’s what makes Druig so interesting. He loves humanity, he just doesn’t understand them at all. He’s unafraid to stand up to Icaris and is crucial in the final battle. Not to mention that his chemistry with Makkari is off the charts. With the least amount of screen time, Makkari and Druig is easily the best couple in Eternals.
1. Sersi (Gemma Chan)
There’s no other place for Sersi than first place. She is the emotional heart of this story. Unlike all the other Eternals, she both truly loves humanity and deeply understands them. While she has fallen in love before, to Ikaris and Dane Whitman, her true love is humanity.
Something unique about this film is the way it treats its women. Every female Eternal is distinct from each other with their own personalities, and they are all their own kind of feminine. The movie doesn’t try to “girlboss” them up, give them a chip on their shoulder, or overcompensate their superpowers. Sersi isn’t a combat-heavy hero. She’s feminine, she’s kind, she’s gentle, and she is still the most powerful Eternal. She carries the emotional centre of this movie.
From the tenth to the first, every Eternal was amazing. While the film had its own issues; mainly being that the plot might have been a little too big for an origin story and it had some of the worst CGI I have ever seen in the MCU, it introduces some incredible new characters. Everything released in Phase Four has made fans more excited for what’s to come in the MCU, and it’s going to be thrilling to see these characters’ futures.
Did you like Eternals? Do you agree with our ranking? Let us know in the comments below.
Check out the Eternals trailer HERE.
Read IMDB information about the Eternals HERE.
9 Bands You Forgot Played Themselves In Movies
There are more bands than you think that played themselves on the big screen. Here are nine bands you might’ve forgotten appeared in movies.
1. Alice Cooper – Wayne’s World (1992)
Being a teenager in the nineties was great for many reasons. Two of those being the release of the Wayne’s World movies. The genius that is Mike Myers created one of the best music-based films of all time. Plus, he convinced one of the greatest rock musicians of all time to be in it. If you’re not a geek like me, you may have forgotten that Alice Cooper was featured in the film. It had the iconic scene of Wayne and Garth meeting, Alice, backstage on bent knees. We’re not worthy, indeed. Alice himself pulls off the diva Rockstar brilliantly, even though he’s a genuine, down-to-earth guy who plays a lot of golf.
2. Primus – Bill & Ted’s Bogus Journey (1991)
Let’s try and erase the recent Bill & Ted movie from our memory and head back to 1991 for their bogus journey. They come from the future to kill the non-robot versions of themselves and ruin their performance at a Battle of the Bands competition. What’s cool is the band who are playing before them. Californian alt-metal kings Primus. Although the clip is only short, they play themselves and sound as you would expect. Epic.
3. Fall Out Boy – Sex Drive (2008)
You’d be forgiven for forgetting about this one. The teen sex comedy from 2008 is forgettable and won’t really appeal to anyone apart from its teen target audience. If you can sit through all the cringe-inducing moments, you will spot pop-rockers Fall Out Boy. They are performing in a barn in front of some drunk Amish teenagers. There’s a reason for that, but I won’t bore you with it here. What is good, is the soundtrack of the film. As well as Fall Out Boy, it features Airbourne, AC/DC and weirdly, Kenny Loggins.
4. Twisted Sister – Pee Wee’s Big Adventure (1985)
Paul Reuben’s character Pee Wee Herman made his big-screen outing in 1985. The children’s show star had a scene where he is being chased through a studio parking lot. Unbeknown to him, glam rockers Twisted Sister are recording a music video on a car. Lead singer Dee Snider is always up for a laugh, so it’s no surprise they’re featured. The clip is brilliant. Pee Wee’s prop-laden bike is just about to crash into Twisted Sister and the look on Dee’s face is genius. Go check out the clip.
5. David Bowie – Zoolander (2001)
Who can forget the brilliant Zoolander? Starring Ben Stiller as the dippy model, it’s one of the funniest comedies ever made. One of the best scenes of the film is the walk-off. This involved Ben Stiller and Owen Wilson’s characters doing a catwalk-off. Of sorts. Can you remember who refereed it? The legend himself, David Bowie. It’s not the first time Bowie was in a movie – remember Labyrinth? But this time, he plays himself. And does it with all the cool swagger you would expect.
6. The Mighty Mighty Bosstones – Clueless (1995)
I can’t say that I was a massive fan of this teen comedy at the time. The plot revolves around Alicia Silverstone’s character giving her friend a makeover. The premise doesn’t sound like it lends itself to a cool band cameo. You’d be wrong, though. There’s a scene where the lead characters go watch a gig. The band that are playing are The Mighty Mighty Bosstones. The Boston ska-punk legends are only on stage for a moment, but it’s a slick clip. It certainly brings the film up a level on the cool stakes.
7. Daft Punk – Tron: Legacy (2010)
This sequel to the original sci-fi classic is a cracking movie. The visuals and effects are stunning, as is the atmosphere of the film. The music to the film is also rather special. A futuristic and dystopian movie could only have one act doing the score, and that’s Daft Punk. It works a treat. The music is intertwined into the movie and becomes a part of it. The delicious electronica is the perfect complement to the visuals. The French electronic masters also have a cameo at the end of the movie. They’re spinning the decks in a blink-and-you-miss-it scene.
8. Aerosmith – Wayne’s World (1993)
We’ve already had an appearance from the first film further up our list, and the second doesn’t disappoint either. The plot revolves around Wayne and Garth putting on their own music festival. Book them and they will come, is the advice given. And they certainly did. The headline band for the festival were none other than Aerosmith themselves. They do a sterling effort on stage as performers. And Steven Tyler also shows that he can handle his own on the acting front too.
9. Reel Big Fish – BASEketball (1998)
Trey Parker and Matt Stone star in this bizarre and hilarious sports comedy. Written by the king of spoof David Zucker, it’s become a cult classic. The soundtrack heavily features ska-punkers Reel Big Fish. They do a brilliant rendition of A-HA’s Take on Me, which they also perform in the movie. The band are the entertainment at the stadium where Parker and Stone are competing. You can tell by the footage that the band are clearly enjoying themselves. They add a touch more fun to an already hugely funny film.
That’s our list of nine bands who played themselves in movies. Did we miss any of your favourites? Let us know in the comments below.
Check out our list of actors in bands HERE.
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