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9 Horror Movies That Aren’t Scary



Scream image
Dimension Films

Nothing accompanies a windy autumnal night better than a good horror flick. Sadly, there are some that don’t hit the spot. Here are nine horror movies that just aren’t scary.

1. Child’s Play (1988)

A film about a possessed child’s doll is quite a scary premise. The Annabelle films proved that. But, this offering is nothing but. Revolving around a doll called Chucky, it should pass for a comedy. Ok, so it is a dated film now and the effects are laughable. Plus, the fact it’s basically someone moving a plastic doll around. With a fake knife. The only thing that stops it from being a comedy is the blood and the language. Kudos goes to the supporting actors who do a great job of making it believable. But scary, it is not.

2. Scream (1996)

This is an odd one. Mostly because it’s not entirely sure what it’s trying to do. We know that Wes Craven made this film with his tongue slightly in cheek. It was a homage to the classic slasher films of the 70s and 80s, but it was also trying to be serious. I remember watching it at the time and being slightly confused. Is this meant to scare me or make me laugh? Or both? That’s the problem; it tries to do both. Don’t get me wrong, there are some great scenes and superb acting, but it just leaves you wondering what you just watched. And you certainly won’t lose sleep after watching it.

3. Jeepers Creepers 2 (2003)

Part of the scariness of the original movie was that it took a while to really see the monster. That left your mind going into overdrive, which is key to an excellent horror. In the second instalment, you already know what the creeper looks like. The filmmakers have been quite clever by adding some humour into the mix. This is best showcased in the scene with the creeper teasing the students in the bus. Don’t get me wrong, there are some cool scenes in this movie. But the mystery has disappeared. That just leaves you predicting what’s going to happen and laughing at the jokes. Not all bad, but it won’t be giving you the creeps.

4. The Babadook (2014)

This Australian flick was much hyped before its release. Critics were hailing it as the best horror film in decades. First, it has a very small budget. That’s not to say that great horror films can’t be made on a small budget. Jason Blum has proved it many times. It’s just that this film just doesn’t deliver on the scares. It does deliver some excellent acting, though. The tough mother and young son relationship are what this film is about. And they both act their parts superbly. But there are no real scares or threats. It’s basically a very well executed psychological drama. But a scary horror flick, it is not.

5. The Wicker Man (2006)

The original Wicker Man was a creepy classic. Sadly, this remake from 2006 was terrible. On so many levels. They say that you should never remake a classic movie, and this proves it. It’s a shame as legend Nicholas Cage is the lead man. And we all know how gloriously bonkers he is. But not even he can save this turkey. The script is clunky, some of the acting is questionable, and the editing is choppy. Not even Cage’s over-the-top ability can save the day. The result was an unintentionally funny and absurd movie. Which even Cage admits to this day.

6. Paranormal Activity: The Ghost Dimension (2015)

This was the sixth movie in the Paranormal Activity franchise. By this time, all the originality and scares have dissipated. We know the story and can guess what’s going to happen all the way through. They still manage to throw a few jump scares in, but it’s all too repetitive and boring. It’s all been done over and over in the previous five films, so the concept is stale. Nothing can compete with the terror of watching the first film for the first time, but this one is dull as dishwater.

7. Devil’s Due (2014)

Another found footage movie. Devil’s Due pretty much mirrors the premise of Rosemary’s Baby. But this has none of the terror and creeping horror that that film had. Trouble is, we’ve seen it all before. Couple gets pregnant. Things go wrong. Could this be the devil? It’s not that it’s a badly made film, but that it’s all been done to death. Pardon the pun. The acting is ok as are some of the effects. But it’s not original, nor is it scary. Yawn.

8. Freddy Vs Jason (2003)

I know, let’s take two of horror’s most iconic characters and pitch them against one another. Sound a good idea? Maybe on paper, but then so did Alien Vs Predator, and that didn’t work out great. Don’t get me wrong, it’s cool to see both killers have a showdown, but the plot is thin and it’s obvious that it’s just done as a cash-in for the studio. If you’re a fan of either movie, then you’ll probably enjoy both characters having a slice at each other. But for the newbie, you’ll be sat wondering what on earth is going on.

9. Book of Shadows: Blair Witch 2 (2000)

Although the original Blair Witch film wasn’t particularly scary, it offered a new and creative way of making horror. This sequel from 2000 is just dreadful. It’s as if the filmmakers wanted to cash in but had no idea how to do it. The result is a silly plot, zero-character depth and little scares. It’s like they took the original clever idea and threw it out with the trash. Critics panned it, and it’s plain to see why. Films like this make you wish studios would just leave classic movies alone.

That’s our list of nine horror films that aren’t actually scary, did we miss any? Let us know in the comments below.

Check out 20 films to stream this Halloween HERE.

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9 Bands You Forgot Played Themselves In Movies



Wayne's World image
Paramount Pictures

There are more bands than you think that played themselves on the big screen. Here are nine bands you might’ve forgotten appeared in movies.

1. Alice Cooper – Wayne’s World (1992)

Being a teenager in the nineties was great for many reasons. Two of those being the release of the Wayne’s World movies. The genius that is Mike Myers created one of the best music-based films of all time. Plus, he convinced one of the greatest rock musicians of all time to be in it. If you’re not a geek like me, you may have forgotten that Alice Cooper was featured in the film. It had the iconic scene of Wayne and Garth meeting, Alice, backstage on bent knees. We’re not worthy, indeed. Alice himself pulls off the diva Rockstar brilliantly, even though he’s a genuine, down-to-earth guy who plays a lot of golf.

2. Primus – Bill & Ted’s Bogus Journey (1991)

Let’s try and erase the recent Bill & Ted movie from our memory and head back to 1991 for their bogus journey. They come from the future to kill the non-robot versions of themselves and ruin their performance at a Battle of the Bands competition. What’s cool is the band who are playing before them. Californian alt-metal kings Primus. Although the clip is only short, they play themselves and sound as you would expect. Epic.

3. Fall Out Boy – Sex Drive (2008)

You’d be forgiven for forgetting about this one. The teen sex comedy from 2008 is forgettable and won’t really appeal to anyone apart from its teen target audience. If you can sit through all the cringe-inducing moments, you will spot pop-rockers Fall Out Boy. They are performing in a barn in front of some drunk Amish teenagers. There’s a reason for that, but I won’t bore you with it here. What is good, is the soundtrack of the film. As well as Fall Out Boy, it features Airbourne, AC/DC and weirdly, Kenny Loggins.

4. Twisted Sister – Pee Wee’s Big Adventure (1985)

Paul Reuben’s character Pee Wee Herman made his big-screen outing in 1985. The children’s show star had a scene where he is being chased through a studio parking lot. Unbeknown to him, glam rockers Twisted Sister are recording a music video on a car. Lead singer Dee Snider is always up for a laugh, so it’s no surprise they’re featured. The clip is brilliant. Pee Wee’s prop-laden bike is just about to crash into Twisted Sister and the look on Dee’s face is genius. Go check out the clip.

5. David Bowie – Zoolander (2001)

Who can forget the brilliant Zoolander? Starring Ben Stiller as the dippy model, it’s one of the funniest comedies ever made. One of the best scenes of the film is the walk-off. This involved Ben Stiller and Owen Wilson’s characters doing a catwalk-off. Of sorts. Can you remember who refereed it? The legend himself, David Bowie. It’s not the first time Bowie was in a movie – remember Labyrinth? But this time, he plays himself. And does it with all the cool swagger you would expect.

6. The Mighty Mighty Bosstones – Clueless (1995)

I can’t say that I was a massive fan of this teen comedy at the time. The plot revolves around Alicia Silverstone’s character giving her friend a makeover. The premise doesn’t sound like it lends itself to a cool band cameo. You’d be wrong, though. There’s a scene where the lead characters go watch a gig. The band that are playing are The Mighty Mighty Bosstones. The Boston ska-punk legends are only on stage for a moment, but it’s a slick clip. It certainly brings the film up a level on the cool stakes.

7. Daft Punk – Tron: Legacy (2010)

This sequel to the original sci-fi classic is a cracking movie. The visuals and effects are stunning, as is the atmosphere of the film. The music to the film is also rather special. A futuristic and dystopian movie could only have one act doing the score, and that’s Daft Punk. It works a treat. The music is intertwined into the movie and becomes a part of it. The delicious electronica is the perfect complement to the visuals. The French electronic masters also have a cameo at the end of the movie. They’re spinning the decks in a blink-and-you-miss-it scene.

8. Aerosmith – Wayne’s World (1993)

We’ve already had an appearance from the first film further up our list, and the second doesn’t disappoint either. The plot revolves around Wayne and Garth putting on their own music festival. Book them and they will come, is the advice given. And they certainly did. The headline band for the festival were none other than Aerosmith themselves. They do a sterling effort on stage as performers. And Steven Tyler also shows that he can handle his own on the acting front too.

9. Reel Big Fish – BASEketball (1998)

Trey Parker and Matt Stone star in this bizarre and hilarious sports comedy. Written by the king of spoof David Zucker, it’s become a cult classic. The soundtrack heavily features ska-punkers Reel Big Fish. They do a brilliant rendition of A-HA’s Take on Me, which they also perform in the movie. The band are the entertainment at the stadium where Parker and Stone are competing. You can tell by the footage that the band are clearly enjoying themselves. They add a touch more fun to an already hugely funny film.

That’s our list of nine bands who played themselves in movies. Did we miss any of your favourites? Let us know in the comments below.

Check out our list of actors in bands HERE.

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